Guest Napper #74 – Undercovers

16 Mar

We all like to have sweet dreams, but Noah has taken extra precautions to ensure that his are especially amusing.

Knock knock...

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Noah.

Noah who?

You didn’t Noah it was me taking that nap, did you?

Ahhhh, I amuse myself. Really, I do. I’ll be here all week.

But, seriously, folks. Because sleep is serious issue. Can we give this little guy a 10 for his excellent performance?

Happy Friday to all!


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Guest Napper #73 – Wimpy Workout

12 Mar

We parents know that sometimes you have to use whatever you have on hand to keep those kids exercising. Sometimes, however, the pull of the couch is just too soporific to inspire an active lifestyle. As a scientist of sleep, I am wondering if it is the couch, itself, that induces these snoozes…or is it just the arm of the couch?

Forward Roll #FAIL

I would say this is going to become the newest home workout craze, but it doesn’t appear to be a very good calorie burner, does it?

Christopher looks, at least, like he’s going to feel refreshed after this workout. He is exercising his right to relax.

Let’s show him our support.

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Guest Napper #72 – Box and Bottle

8 Mar

Abby sent me this picture of Zoey, and there’s so much going on here that I don’t know what to highlight.

Basically, this little girl crashed out in a box, with her blankie on her head, while drinking a bottle. No, really, take a look.

There's a Seuss book in here somewhere...

I have to say, she might have been better served saving this awesome material for college.

I especially like the detail of her sister in the background, ready to do a bedtime cheer of some sort. I mean, a girl deserves accolades for hitting her nap this hard.

N-A-P-P

That’s the way we wanna be!

Go Naps…go Go GO NAPS!

Yeah yeah yeah!

Oh, come on. This nap deserves an extra “P” and you know it.

Guest Napper #71 – Tired of Toothpaste

5 Mar

Goodness knows, we all try to teach our kids good hygiene. You know…wash your HANDS and brush your TEETH. It seems like a constant uphill battle to get them to perform these tasks at all, let alone correctly.

Well, Odin seems to have a little extra work to do. You see, he has slathered his hands with toothpaste. I can well imagine he got exhausted before he was able to get this mess off his fingers. Apparently, he had to take a break.

Sticky Fingers

I can tell you who won’t be getting a break: his parents. They have some serious wet vac work to do here.

On the upside, if he eats any Cheerios off the floor later, he’ll be getting extra flouride.

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Guest Napper #70 – ZZZ-fense!

1 Mar

My husband hails from the Boston area and the ONLY sport he cares about is football. I can tell you that there was a black cloud over our house after the Superbowl this year.

Shhhhh! Do not speak of it! Also, please take care not to wake Dillon, who is already dreaming of football glory for next year…

Tim ZZZZZbow?

I used to sleep in those pink foam curlers sometimes when I was little, and those were not comfy. Dillon shows some world-class snoozing capabilities. This cannot feel soft. Foam curlers would be dreamy compared to this.

He must understand that suffering is necessary for greatness. But, of course, suffering doesn’t have to mean sleep deprivation, people. I tell my kids that EVERY DAY.

Apparently, when it comes to naps, the best offense is a good Z-fense.

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Guest Napper #69 – Sleepy Surfing

27 Feb

At first, when I saw this picture Emma sent of her son Sirius, I thought “Eh, he’s sleeping on an ottoman. We’ve seen that before.”

But he’s not. Look more closely.

Surfing the microsuede...

In fact, Sirius is balanced on the arm of this couch. He looks like he conked out there on the way to his workout, but this shouldn’t be a problem. I’m quite sure his abs are getting toned as he sleeps.

How does one drift off peacefully, while balancing on the arm of a couch? I’m not sure (as I have never done it) but I’ve spotted a familiar culprit, lying facedown on the seat to his left.

Grilled cheese. Buzz Lightyear. The list of clues grows in the quest to find the perfect sleep-inducing environment.

Peace out, little surf dude. Peace out.

 

Burgeoning Black Belt

24 Feb

Ralph Macchio, step aside.

Daniel-san: How come you didn’t tell me?

Mr. Miyagi: Tell you what?

Daniel-san: That you knew karate?

Mr. Miyagi: You never ask?

"sweep the leg..."

A friend of mine once observed that there must be a huge market for karate schools because every time a strip mall goes up, the first thing to show up is a martial arts storefront. He is very wise, my friend.

But we have found a new way to save money. The industrious Cormac-san has proved to be a prodigy when it comes to napping and preparing for competition – all without any troublesome karate school.

The Crane - None Can Defeat It

Also, he has been doing triple time as a dog walker, to earn money so he can hire an eager high school student to “wax on, wax off” for him. According to eighties film, that is another good way to learn karate. If you want to go the less awesome Jackie Chan/Jaden Smith  route, I guess it’s all about hanging up your jacket over and over again. Sadly, hanging up jackets is a skill that neither William nor Cormac has shown any aptitude for, whatsoever.

You can’t be good at everything. I’m so sure – do you think Will and Jada’s kids can nap like this?

Use karate only for self-sleep-defense.

But perhaps we disturb this young pupil. As Mr. Miyagi said, we should “leave boy alone to train.”

Indeed. Let him pursue the mastery of sleep.

Guest Napper #68 – sNappy Dresser

21 Feb

First and foremost, a disclaimer that no diapered children were harmed during the making of this post…so keep your pants on.

Sue tells me that her son Logan is just a climbing fool, and one day she came into his room around nap time to find him like this:

Thinking ahead?

I mean, most of us have to battle our kids to keep them on the changing table. Logan is clearly far more enlightened than the average toddler.  He knows that he’s going to need dry pants sometime soon. Why not start the process before the nap?

Of course, Sue removed him from the changing table for his own safety, but she tells me the next day he was back up there again. She even resorted to covering the changing table with stuffed animals to deter him…but Logan is a man who knows his own mind and likes a dry pant, apparently.

sNappy dresser...

Something tells me Sue is going to have to “table” those plans for her kid to always nap in his crib. (ba dum DUM!)

Guest Napper #67 – Flying Friendly-like

17 Feb

With my good friend Allison at Motherhood WTF preparing to take an epic flight to New Zealand, I found this picture of wee future traveler Adora to be particularly apt.

Adora’s mom, Ruth, tells me this girl was sitting in her Bumbo waiting for a meal, and I’ll be damned if I haven’t had this experience on an overstuffed jet crossing the Atlantic many a time.

Only I never recline my seat all the way, people.

Quick nap before meal service

I think Ruth is going to have to explain to Adora that only huge men with stinky feet recline their seats all the way when meal service is ramping up. How the heck is a person to eat her custard with some guy’s greasy head pushing it into her lap?

In the meantime, I guess we should still take a moment to appreciate Adora’s flexibility. She will no doubt make a superb globetrotter. Once she gets out of this infernal Bumbo.

Keep the skies friendly for Allison, friends. Recline halfway. Over and out.

Guest Napper #66 – Upholstered Exhaustion

16 Feb

These pictures Jen sent me of her daughter Cecelia remind me of how I feel at 10pm on some weekdays.

In short, I’m just done.

I'm just done, people.

I can neither confirm nor deny that Cecelia has been teaching class, but she sure looks like she knows my pain. Perhaps she had a bad day getting those unruly teddy bears to attend to their alphabet.

It's just so demoralizing.

Did she fall asleep beating her fists on the chair? Railing against the human condition, wherein one must labor uphill every day and never make progress?

Dunno, but she’s out cold now.

Sweet dreams, girlfriend. May you find respite from the rat race.

Slumbering Sweetheart

14 Feb

Grilled cheese is good for your heart.

Happy Valentine's Day

Here’s hoping your box of valentines is full,

that you have many sweet bedtime kisses,

and that all your conversation hearts are imprinted with ZZZZZZZZZZZZs.

Much Love,

Team Naps

Guest Napper #65 – Ow ow ow ow!

13 Feb

Folks, I’m about to make you feel really old. At very least, I’m about to drive a huge spike in memberships at yoga studios for the week.

Ow ow ow ow ow!

Nilam sent me this picture of her daughter Karina.

Now you go do it.

Guest Napper #64 – Mortified Mope?

10 Feb

 

Falling asleep in your bouncer isn’t a new idea. We’ve seen it before around here. Something different is going on, though, in this picture that Crystal sent me.

It’s like Jack is saying, “Mom. Please. I am TOO OLD FOR THIS STUFF.”

This is just too humiliating.

Monkeys? Rainbows? I mean…what a snooze.

Cheer up, Jack. It’s Friday.

 

Guest Napper #63 – Touchdown! I mean…Facedown!

7 Feb

My husband is a huge Patriots fan and is clearly outnumbered in his office. Seeing as how he’s in enemy territory, this is how I envision him this week at work.

Under his desk.

It's safe here.

I don’t know if little Alex has any particular team sympathies, but I do note that he is prepared to stay down there next to his chair for as long as it takes. He’s brought water.

I’m not sure what that is under his cheek, but it seems like he brought his own washcloth, too. I mean, clean skin is a priority, people. I read in a magazine, years ago, that you are NEVER too tired to wash your face before bed.

Especially if your cheek will be making contact with someone else’s seat.

 

 

Guest Napper #62 – Pillow Top Pooch

31 Jan

Most parents are distressed when napping goes to the dogs at their houses. Maria (mother of both of these two snoozers), however, doesn’t have a problem with it.

Too much closeness?

We’ve all heard about “a boy and his dog.” But what about us girls? As you can see, Duke is pretty patient with his girl Isabel…and it looks like his patience may need to last for awhile.

Whimper.

Guest Napper #61: Mealtime Multi-tasking

28 Jan

You know how you get so hungry sometimes that you find yourself just shoveling your lunch in? And then you are simultaneously chugging your drink and taking a nap to rev yourself back up for the afternoon meeting?

Wait…no, me neither.

I'm just...so...thirsty...

Alicia, on the other hand, has got this multi-tasking thing down. She also appears to have gotten a large quantity of pasta or, uh, sweet potatoes? down as well. Right before downing her bottle and taking a train down to Dreamland.

Shh! I'm slurping. I mean sleeping.

Slurping…excuse me, sleeping is an important skill. Her mom, Jennifer, must be so proud.

Burp.

Sleep ‘n Safari

21 Jan

We’ve got a really wild nap here. Monkeys and tigers and bare feet – oh my! We even have some fish (in the bowl) although someone needs to tell Cormac that it’s okay to eat them with his fingers.

Perhaps the effort of chasing those goldfish around their bowl with a spoon exhausted him to the point that he just quit trying and decided to snooze, instead.

The Jungle Nook

As usual, he felt the need to put himself right at the edge of his couch. Perhaps in case the tiger turns out to be a wild animal, after all, and bites the hand that feeds him goldfish?

Comfy, as usual.

For now, however, there seems to be no danger. Tiger is enjoying his catnap, as well…

It’s the black domestic short hair we might want to worry about.

Is that a panther?

Meow.

Guest Napper #60: Doggie Diving

18 Jan

I won’t have to tell you that there is some serious awesomeness here.

Brittany’s comment, upon submitting this picture of Esme, was that Esme was petting the dog and fell asleep. Well…that’s for sure. But what of the super-fab outfit she’s wearing? And how soft and comfy can that hearth be for her precious little tootsies?

Nestea Plunge?

Also, unless I am mistaken, that dog has a look of serious world weariness. It’s like “Dude. Is my bed not even sacred?”

Bravo, Esme! Nap boldly and nap well. Not sure there’s much hope for the dog, though.

Also, please visit this page to learn about polycystic kidney disease and what you can do to help!

Guest Nappers #58 and 59: Simon Says “Sleep!”

16 Jan

Any parent with two children places great value on the much-sought-after tandem nap. Look – if you have two kids, you just want them asleep at the same time. Personally, I’ve been grateful for my kids to sleep simultaneously in any position, in any place in the house (or sometimes not even in my house). I don’t give a rat’s patootie if they’re matching or anything.

Amanda has trumped me.

Simon says...

Although years apart in age, Amanda reports that her boys mirrored each other’s positions throughout this entire nap. Sadly, there is no video to prove her assertion. However, seeing as how she’s all writerly and that she publishes cool articles on Circle of Moms and stuff…I’m going to trust her on this one.

I’m going to get my kids to zonk out  in coordinated outfits just to top her next time.

Simon says…sleep for a very long time today, kids.

Amazzzzing Abs

11 Jan

I know – it looks fake, right? Even as I’m turning my head this way and that, I feel my upper abs getting tired.

Imagine the six pack.

If this is preferable to napping in his bed, perhaps it is time for something cushier upstairs? This looks less like a nap to me than it does like some late stage of a boot camp workout. Tis the season!

See...foot isn't even touching.

I’m moving this kid past toddler soccer and martial arts and straight on to Cirque Du Soleil, people. When he wakes up, that is.

This nap is making my hair curl.

Once I sell him to the circus, I can retrieve my magazine.

Guest Napper #57: Above Insomnia

9 Jan

I woke up at 2:30am on Sunday and couldn’t go back to sleep.

Of course I tried all the usual stuff like counting backwards from 100 (while making bleating noises), breathing deeply, and even clearing my mind. Except the clearing of the mind part never works because I start to think about the list of things I need to do and wonder stuff like where I’m sending my kids to day camp this summer. What – everyone does this, right?

Well, perhaps Beth, here, has the right idea. Her mom Lana sent me this picture of her daughter, who does not look like she’s making a nighttime grocery list at all.

Good for circulation.

This really puts me in mind of a nap Cormac had many moons ago. Except, like a typical man, he left his shoes all over the place and looks like he fell asleep while watching sports. What are the chances he’ll pick that stuff up when he wakes?

I’m going to try Beth’s pose tonight at 2:30am, when I wake up and start thinking about the deadlines for preschool paperwork, and how I forgot to xerox that worksheet on sentence fragments for my class on Tuesday.

Don’t lie – you’re jealous of my deep thoughts.

 

Timid Tiptoes

5 Jan

First of all, this is the entryway of to my house.

Hiding from the new year?

Secondly, I’m still not sure how William gets into these hidey holes without an accomplice.

Hm. Comfy?

That is, by the way, one of those prickly wipe-your-feet-clean doormats next to his face.

A return to bomb shelters?

One thing that I can tell you is that he’s in this sunny spot for the long haul. Luckily, he brought one of his favorite bedtime stories.

Goodnight Tiptoe

Ironically, the character in this story is NOT sleepy. Some role model he turned out to be.

Sleep tight, little man.

I hope our burrowing boy isn’t awakened by a falling book. Goodnight, tiptoes!

Guest Napper #56 – Resolved to Rest

2 Jan

Here’s a good New Year’s Resolution:

Get a smaller dog.

Feeling weighed down by January?

Thanks to Gabrielle’s tot for showing us all that we’re not alone in feeling like we just can’t get up for work tomorrow.

Happy New Year!

Intermission

27 Dec

The days between the excess and exhaustion of the holidays and the dawn of the New Year are strange ones. Most people are pretty much done with the merriment, but it takes that week to really get your head wrapped around the idea of the New Year.

Cormac suggests simply conking out in a sunny spot. Heck…put your feet up while you’re at it.

Sunlit Snooze

Don’t lie. You’re feeling jealous right now.

As the book resting under Cormac’s head proclaims, “Oh, the places you’ll go!” in 2012. Once you are able to rouse yourself. And also if your feet aren’t dead asleep from being raised above your heart for two hours.

 

Guest Napper #55: SHHHH! I’m Shopping!

23 Dec

I just got back from Wegmans. At 9 a.m., the entire produce section was like a piranha feeding frenzy.

The olive bar resembled a game of Duck, Duck, Goose, with patrons circling the kalamatas like anxious predators.

Tense shoppers parked their carts in gridlocked spots around the cheese island, looking like they need a Valium more than a wheel of brie.

There were no chives. I will have to come up with another plan for garnishing my butternut squash soup.

I hope that Trent’s mom, Lizette, made a previous trip to Food Lion earlier in the week, because it looks as if she’s shopped this kid out and still has nothing in her cart.

You should have come earlier.

Okay, well, in Lizette’s defense, this isn’t really a photo from today. But it was really perfect for my mood. Which is not good. They have POLICE directing traffic AT THE GROCERY STORE, PEOPLE. How is this festive?

Now I’m home making beef stock, though, while my sainted husband steam vacuums our furniture. That’s putting the spirit of the holidays right back in my heart.

Be of good cheer, friends!

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