Tag Archives: toddler sleep

Guest Nappers #92 and #93: Dreaming While Delayed

21 May

Memorial Day is almost here. Are you gearing up for a delightfully relaxing family vacation?

(insert evil laugh)

Amanda sent me these pics of her kids asleep in the most comfortable and hygienic of places, all thanks to family travel.

Likes a firm pillow.

I especially like how this one seems to be praying for the imminent end to this vacation.

Now I lay me down to sleep…

Now I sit me down to wait

I fear I’ll never leave this gate

If this plane more delayed shall be

I pray you all should pity me

Um…over and out.

Nearly the unofficial start of summer travel, folks! Stock up on the juice boxes and the DVDs…

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Behind Bars

4 May

Friday is such a special time of the week, right? You’re dragging your sorry backside across the finish line, but it feels good.

Cormac didn’t make it, though.

Behind baby bars.

I came back from my workout to find that Cormac had decided to have an early nap on the floor of the childcare room at the gym.

Underneath the crib.

Thank goodness the wonderful woman there is a friend of mine. She took some GREAT photos! Thanks, Dianna!

Rockin’ the Jailhouse

He didn’t even take his coat off before crawling under here to zonk out. But, hey, any mom knows that when you get a chance to take a nap, you go to sleep almost with panicked speed. Why shouldn’t kids do the same? I think I’d sleep in my coat, too, if I knew I could squeeze in some shut eye.

In the words of the immortal Elvis, You’re the cutest jailbird I ever did see

Happy Friday, sleepyheads! Wishing naps to everybody in the whole cell block.

Guest Napper #90 – Flexible Flop

30 Apr

You know when you wake up and you just feel like you slept at a strange angle?

Ow.

Or perhaps that you were trying to do a “bboy” style shoulder spin in your sleep? Nah, me neither.

Bethany saw her daughter sleeping like this and had to decide if she should wake her or let her lie. Guided by the predominant parental wisdom never to wake a sleeping baby, she risked the neck crick.

Apparently, the child woke fresh as a daisy.

Doubters – 0. Sleep Lovers – 1.

May your Monday be free of muscle relaxants. If…that’s what you want.

Guest Napper #89 – Snoozin’ and Skatin’

23 Apr

…and sun.

We haven’t had any sun for a few days, so this picture from Susan (a.k.a. Wubboo Mummy) looked so inviting. I mean, I also enjoy sleeping on a skateboard from time to time.

 

Is she levitating?

Apparently, Susan was busy kicking a ball nearby with her son, when she turned to find that Briannah had eschewed their tedious sport and decided to spend her time more wisely.

I’m with Briannah.

I mean, soccer can only be played up to a certain age, but sleeping is a sport for life.

This could be a new sport, in fact.

She does look like she was thinking about throwing that ball when she was overcome by drowsiness. Perhaps she’ll toss it when she awakens. Next up: halfpipe while blindfolded.

But we’ll need to have Susan sign a release form for that one. Happy Monday!

 

Guest Napper #86 – Dreams with Daddy

13 Apr

No hijinks this Friday – just a sweet little nap for all the kids whose parents are serving far away.

Nap Buddy

Thanks to Vanessa and Zach for this reminder that the best dreams are of the ones you love.

Guest Napper #71 – Tired of Toothpaste

5 Mar

Goodness knows, we all try to teach our kids good hygiene. You know…wash your HANDS and brush your TEETH. It seems like a constant uphill battle to get them to perform these tasks at all, let alone correctly.

Well, Odin seems to have a little extra work to do. You see, he has slathered his hands with toothpaste. I can well imagine he got exhausted before he was able to get this mess off his fingers. Apparently, he had to take a break.

Sticky Fingers

I can tell you who won’t be getting a break: his parents. They have some serious wet vac work to do here.

On the upside, if he eats any Cheerios off the floor later, he’ll be getting extra flouride.

Do me a favor! Click that pink badge to your right and vote for me as a Top Funny Mom Blog for 2012!

Burgeoning Black Belt

24 Feb

Ralph Macchio, step aside.

Daniel-san: How come you didn’t tell me?

Mr. Miyagi: Tell you what?

Daniel-san: That you knew karate?

Mr. Miyagi: You never ask?

"sweep the leg..."

A friend of mine once observed that there must be a huge market for karate schools because every time a strip mall goes up, the first thing to show up is a martial arts storefront. He is very wise, my friend.

But we have found a new way to save money. The industrious Cormac-san has proved to be a prodigy when it comes to napping and preparing for competition – all without any troublesome karate school.

The Crane - None Can Defeat It

Also, he has been doing triple time as a dog walker, to earn money so he can hire an eager high school student to “wax on, wax off” for him. According to eighties film, that is another good way to learn karate. If you want to go the less awesome Jackie Chan/Jaden Smith  route, I guess it’s all about hanging up your jacket over and over again. Sadly, hanging up jackets is a skill that neither William nor Cormac has shown any aptitude for, whatsoever.

You can’t be good at everything. I’m so sure – do you think Will and Jada’s kids can nap like this?

Use karate only for self-sleep-defense.

But perhaps we disturb this young pupil. As Mr. Miyagi said, we should “leave boy alone to train.”

Indeed. Let him pursue the mastery of sleep.

Guest Napper #68 – sNappy Dresser

21 Feb

First and foremost, a disclaimer that no diapered children were harmed during the making of this post…so keep your pants on.

Sue tells me that her son Logan is just a climbing fool, and one day she came into his room around nap time to find him like this:

Thinking ahead?

I mean, most of us have to battle our kids to keep them on the changing table. Logan is clearly far more enlightened than the average toddler.  He knows that he’s going to need dry pants sometime soon. Why not start the process before the nap?

Of course, Sue removed him from the changing table for his own safety, but she tells me the next day he was back up there again. She even resorted to covering the changing table with stuffed animals to deter him…but Logan is a man who knows his own mind and likes a dry pant, apparently.

sNappy dresser...

Something tells me Sue is going to have to “table” those plans for her kid to always nap in his crib. (ba dum DUM!)

Guest Napper #65 – Ow ow ow ow!

13 Feb

Folks, I’m about to make you feel really old. At very least, I’m about to drive a huge spike in memberships at yoga studios for the week.

Ow ow ow ow ow!

Nilam sent me this picture of her daughter Karina.

Now you go do it.

Guest Napper #64 – Mortified Mope?

10 Feb

 

Falling asleep in your bouncer isn’t a new idea. We’ve seen it before around here. Something different is going on, though, in this picture that Crystal sent me.

It’s like Jack is saying, “Mom. Please. I am TOO OLD FOR THIS STUFF.”

This is just too humiliating.

Monkeys? Rainbows? I mean…what a snooze.

Cheer up, Jack. It’s Friday.

 

Guest Napper #63 – Touchdown! I mean…Facedown!

7 Feb

My husband is a huge Patriots fan and is clearly outnumbered in his office. Seeing as how he’s in enemy territory, this is how I envision him this week at work.

Under his desk.

It's safe here.

I don’t know if little Alex has any particular team sympathies, but I do note that he is prepared to stay down there next to his chair for as long as it takes. He’s brought water.

I’m not sure what that is under his cheek, but it seems like he brought his own washcloth, too. I mean, clean skin is a priority, people. I read in a magazine, years ago, that you are NEVER too tired to wash your face before bed.

Especially if your cheek will be making contact with someone else’s seat.

 

 

Guest Napper #61: Mealtime Multi-tasking

28 Jan

You know how you get so hungry sometimes that you find yourself just shoveling your lunch in? And then you are simultaneously chugging your drink and taking a nap to rev yourself back up for the afternoon meeting?

Wait…no, me neither.

I'm just...so...thirsty...

Alicia, on the other hand, has got this multi-tasking thing down. She also appears to have gotten a large quantity of pasta or, uh, sweet potatoes? down as well. Right before downing her bottle and taking a train down to Dreamland.

Shh! I'm slurping. I mean sleeping.

Slurping…excuse me, sleeping is an important skill. Her mom, Jennifer, must be so proud.

Burp.

Timid Tiptoes

5 Jan

First of all, this is the entryway of to my house.

Hiding from the new year?

Secondly, I’m still not sure how William gets into these hidey holes without an accomplice.

Hm. Comfy?

That is, by the way, one of those prickly wipe-your-feet-clean doormats next to his face.

A return to bomb shelters?

One thing that I can tell you is that he’s in this sunny spot for the long haul. Luckily, he brought one of his favorite bedtime stories.

Goodnight Tiptoe

Ironically, the character in this story is NOT sleepy. Some role model he turned out to be.

Sleep tight, little man.

I hope our burrowing boy isn’t awakened by a falling book. Goodnight, tiptoes!

Guest Napper #56 – Resolved to Rest

2 Jan

Here’s a good New Year’s Resolution:

Get a smaller dog.

Feeling weighed down by January?

Thanks to Gabrielle’s tot for showing us all that we’re not alone in feeling like we just can’t get up for work tomorrow.

Happy New Year!

Intermission

27 Dec

The days between the excess and exhaustion of the holidays and the dawn of the New Year are strange ones. Most people are pretty much done with the merriment, but it takes that week to really get your head wrapped around the idea of the New Year.

Cormac suggests simply conking out in a sunny spot. Heck…put your feet up while you’re at it.

Sunlit Snooze

Don’t lie. You’re feeling jealous right now.

As the book resting under Cormac’s head proclaims, “Oh, the places you’ll go!” in 2012. Once you are able to rouse yourself. And also if your feet aren’t dead asleep from being raised above your heart for two hours.

 

Comfort Food

22 Dec

Speaking of grilled cheese…evidence is mounting that it has a strong soporific effect.

That sandwich was a knockout!

Contrary to his spicy attire, Cormac is feeling extremely laid-back after, apparently, eating all but the crusts of his sandwich and then arranging them in some kind of modern art installation on his Easter egg plate.

Now, my boys aren’t even twins, and they seem to have some kind of telepathy going on. Little did Cormac know, his brother had done something extremely similar in the basement.

We do steam the couch, often, just so you know.

I am not as impressed with William’s crust-arranging skills, but he is truly the superior performer on the Xbox.

I think Celestial Seasonings should make a bedtime grilled cheese tea. It seems to be effective. That would be gross, though, wouldn’t it?

Insomnia be damned!

Guest Napper #54: Exhausted Escapee

21 Dec

Right about this time every year, it seems like all my friends are talking about how they just want to go hide in a closet somewhere. Calgon, take me away!

Danielle sent me this picture of Tristin. It looks like he bungled his own escape.

When you just gotta get out.

At least Tristin had the presence of mind to open the entire door, unlike William, who attempted an escape through the cat door some time ago.

Next thing you know, one of these kids will be trying to get out via the chimney. Someone warn Santa!

 

 

Guest Napper #51- LIVE!

14 Dec

This is a nap distinctly lacking in the traditional trappings of the holiday, such as snow, Santa, and sugar rushes. Come to think of it, this may just be a sugar CRASH happening here. I’m not sure this girl is fit to be behind the wheel of this sleek exersaucer in her drowsy condition.

Jen sent me this great video of her daughter Maycee, who seems all decked out in a party ‘do and appears to have zero chance of staying awake for the party.

Try to focus on the nap and not being jealous of this nice weather.

I think my favorite random detail is the stumbling, wandering boy who walks into the frame at the end. Wearing a helmet. Judging by Maycee’s dramatic nodding action, that might be a good idea…in case he decides to take a nap.

Exersaucer whiplash...

Ouch.

Luckily, the fine folks at the toy company knew to pad the dash on these things! It protects so many little noses.

Off to brew myself a pot of coffee…

 

Crashed-Out Christmas Help

13 Dec

So, what was your first job? As the holiday season gets into full swing, I am reminded of my very first minimum wage position at Miller’s Outpost in Moreno Valley, CA.  I think I had just turned 16, so it was December of 1988.  I spent Christmas selling acid-washed jeans, studded denim jackets and pleather (that’s not a typo – plastic leather) white boots to people who used too much Aquanet. This, of course, included myself. Because Miller’s Outpost was like, totally the awesomest place to shop for clothes in all of Moreno Valley!

It was a real accomplishment when I moved onward and upward to become a hostess at Chili’s.

Well, you can see that Cormac is steeling himself early for the minimum wage work world. It won’t be long before these kids are going to be expected to earn their keep. I see a position at a shoe store in his future.

Preparing for the world of work.

On the other hand, his boss may not like it if he falls asleep while fitting the patrons. This could cut into his Christmas money.

Maybe he can be a cashier, instead?

Also, we may have to work on separating from the blankie.

Come to think of it, there may have been days, throughout my career, when I’d have done better with a security blanket to help me out. That and a nap, of course. Maybe Cormac is onto something? They’ll introduce it in Europe and it’ll become the new standard for healthy work-life balance.

For now, I guess we should just concentrate on getting him to keep his nose out of the shoes.

 

Guest Napper #50: Searching for Santa?

12 Dec

In this season of wishes for Santa, Tricia’s photo of her daughter Georgia struck me as being especially appropriate.  I mean, I’m generally not one to put my kids in the lap of a mall Santa – mostly because I think they’d get super freaked out. But Georgia seems to be making a plea to parents everywhere.

Bring back the man in red!  Why is the throne of St. Nicholas empty?!  And, darn it, she’s going to occupy Santa’s chair until the situation is rectified.

But...where's the big guy?

As for my kids, I’ll be telling them Santa lives in their hearts.  I really don’t want to go to the mall.

They’d probably just fall asleep, anyway.

A cool yule to all, and to all a good…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Culprit is Cornered

10 Dec

Nobody in my house will accept responsibility for the violence directed at this poor, snowy white stuffed dog. Even worse, nobody will take responsibility for the concurrent destruction of my Bobbi Brown lipstick.  BOBBI BROWN, ladies. You feel me?

Dog suffers dastardly crime...

I go in search of the culprit and discover a potential suspect, who has holed up in a hideout, barricading himself inside.

Anybody in there? Show yourself!

I order the person of interest to come out and explain himself. There is no sound.

Letting his guard down.

Circling the structure with catlike subtlety, I peer in through a hole in the wall. There he is, enjoying the sleep of the innocents. I’m remain unconvinced.

We'll question him when he wakes up.

I’ll have to wait outside, lest he sneak out and make off in his getaway car.  In the meantime, doggy is getting a bath on the “hot” cycle, with some bleach.

The prognosis for a good nap is excellent. The prognosis for a clean puppy is not good. The prognosis for my lipstick is too depressing for me to discuss right now.

Hey Girl, Let’s Take a Nap

8 Dec

A single, child-free friend of mine once remarked that she would go insane living in my house, because I appear to have constant couch cushion chaos.  I refrained from pointing out that I have already gone insane.

This picture provides no real clues to how William ended up sleeping under the toy box, but it does provide compelling evidence that there is a malevolent force at work in my media room downstairs. Heck – in every room. Friends, I present Exhibit A: Child Unconscious on Pile of Furniture Rubble.

 

My money is on aliens...

What’s really calloused here is how William continues to play Xbox with no concern for his brother’s well-being.  If he were Ryan Gosling, he’d be like “Hey girl, I know you get all concerned when we sleep buried in piles of rubble, but it’s okay, girl. You know how we are, girl.”

...it'll be his turn soon.

William is probably using this opportunity to level up in Lego Star Wars, seeing as how his bro isn’t as good at the game as he is. Toddler motor skills.

Go away. I'm sleeping.

Hey girl, I know you get your undies in a bunch when we wreck the house. But you know how much virile energy we have, girl. You know how it is.

What happened here?

7 Dec

I really sat sort of speechless in front of this photo for a few minutes and thought, “What, exactly, happened here?”

It looks as if William was playing a two-player Xbox game, when he was suddenly buried under an ottoman and a toy box.  And then…he got tired and fell asleep?

Yeah. I got nothin'...

How does a person prepare a bed of pillows and wrap himself in his blankie before being surprised by an avalanche of playroom furniture? Sadly, there wasn’t a good samaritan in sight to help pull him out of this awkward situation. Perhaps he played each controller until the batteries ran out and then succumbed to exhaustion, hoping a parent would find him.

Don't give up hope, William!

The worst part is that he was just a couple of feet from his half-eaten grilled cheese. He can almost reach it.

Hang on, my man. Mama is coming!

 

Guest Napper #44 Redux – Sweet on the Stairs

5 Dec

Some of you may remember Fiona, the amazing upside-down stair sleeper. Proving that she hasn’t given up on creative napping, she provided her mom, Beth, with another pretty awesome stair nap soon after her last guest appearance.  This one makes her a perfect friend for Cormac, who also favors this position.

At least she's at the bottom.

This time, it looks as if she got all dressed and ready to go, and then just couldn’t quite make it out the door without catching a catnap, first. And a stylish catnap it is! You go, girl.

Now that’s how you face Monday, folks. With cheerful pink attire and a good sleep on your side.

Sleeping By Surprise

2 Dec

Sometimes, of an afternoon, I let the boys have their lunch on a tray in the basement while they watch a movie. They call this “picnic” and it’s good, clean fun. Apparently, it’s also very tiring…at least for Cormac.

Grilled cheese gross out?

William has eaten half of his sandwich, but Cormac didn’t even make it to the cherry tomatoes before he crashed out.  William seems unconcerned.

Open-mouthed

In fact, this impromptu naps seems to have hit Cormac like a freight train, leaving him open-mouthed with surprise.  At least he thought to take his shoes off, first.

Blue Puppy was surprised, too.

Squished Sleep

As if he doesn’t know the drill by now. Puhleeze.

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